It was my plan to not even look at the grade, and I told the professor this when he gave me my exam back, but he smiled and said, "Good score." So I knew it was OK. And in fact I was two standard deviations above the average, which means I got an A. I felt really dumb for having worried about it so much.
Yesterday morning I woke up at five thirty am, after having gone to bed at 1 am the night before. I was wide awake. Nightmares. So rather than lie in bed in the dark afraid, I got up and went swimming. It is the reverse of my normal schedule to watch the sun rise rather than set, but it was every bit just as beautiful to see the sky change from pitch black to light blue every time I turned my head to take a breath.
I went to school, came home, got in a run in the hills, and headed back to school. From my evening class I went straight to Slow Feet's naturalization party, to celebrate the Brit finally becoming an American citizen. Reminds me of how much I like my work friends. Here I am (on four hours sleep) with LaMexicana Dog Whisperer, The Brazilian Dancer and Slow Feet, graveyard nurse extraordinaire.
Today I got in another swim and run. I am really enjoying our warm weather. When I get far up in the hills, I take off my shirt and feel the warmth of the sun, the wind caressing my skin, and with all the birds, the quiet, the beautiful views of the valley, it is pretty much my idea of heaven. I think I derive a lot of emotional satisfaction from my connection to nature that others get from other people. I am going to be sad when it starts to rain. Every sunny day is a gift for me.
Well, I have to be up in just a few hours, and I have another very full weekend, so more later. Thanks to everyone who commiserated with me about my wait for the return of my exam and wrote me privately to express concern. It is touching.
3 comments:
Congrats on the good score.I had a feeling that this was an irrational fear for you. Get some sleep. Try again tomorrow.
It's just like we're back in college . . . How many exams will you have to ace before you stop worrying about every one? Hopefully you'll feel more relaxed once you're in vet school. (But probably not. Once a HT always an HT).
Btw, my delinquent husband has finally shipped your stuff!
lol, LaMexicana Dog Whisperer and SlowFeet. And yeah... nightmares really, really suck in the middle of the night. I get them when I'm stressed out (when I need the sleep the most). The most terrifying ones are those that happen when you're only half-asleep (an unparalyzed version of sleep paralysis). I had one of those earlier this semester. I was up for a long time, quite damned sure the vampires had gotten my roommate. You're nightmare about being in the dwarven army still makes me laugh.
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