I Can Now Say I Have Tried Lesbian Speed Dating

I imagine some of you have been waiting with bated breath to hear about my lesbian speed dating experience. So here goes...

The event was held at a Mexican restaurant/club/lounge near the SF MOMA. It was a small place, there were 16 women participating. Mostly in their twenties, one or two older (that's including me folks, I am 30 after all). I was pleased to see that not everyone was white, there was a good mix, at least one third of the women there were African-American. Range in education from community college to graduate school. Dressed from casual (jeans and a sweatshirt) to dressy (me and a few others). Some who grew up in the Bay area, others from the East coast or the South.

I don't want to write anything personal about any of the people I met just out of respect for their privacy on the small world of the internet. I found most people very easy to talk to (for all of three minutes before the bell rang). Typical questions were:

• What kinds of things do you like to do for fun? (Me: Run, read, swim)
• What kind of work do you do? (Me: Veterinary nurse in an emergency room. I don't know if it is how I said this or if people are actually impressed but lots of people reacted with strong admiration. I realized that out of the group I was one of the people who was most passionate about her job. I feel so lucky to have a job that I love. The only other people I spoke to who loved their jobs were the teachers-- there was more than one PE teacher there.)
• Where did you grow up?
• Where did you go to school?
• Do you live alone? Who do you live with?
• What type of women are you attracted to? (Which inevitably led into a discussion of butch/femme and how that didn't describe anyone perfectly. The most interesting tidbit I picked up was from a woman who had just come back from spending six months in Beijing, where apparently the scene is still heavily into butch/femme and butch women are called "T's" and femme woman are called "P's." I was pleasantly surprised that most of the women at the event were on the femme side of the spectrum, though as always I was one of the most feminine of the whole bunch)

I'm not dying to date, I'm happy single and I'm super busy so I don't even know when I would have time to date, but I checked off my secret scorecard showing interest in a few women that I liked so if they checked me off on their scorecards then I will get an email informing me of a match and I can follow it up from there. I did have one woman ask me for my number outright and I gave it to her, though I think she is a bit more into the bar scene than me, and I gave my email to one other woman who was fun to talk to and interested in meeting more gay women in the South bay as well as a potential running partner.

I went into it viewing it as a combination of an adventure and an anthropological investigation of speed dating among lesbians. Also, I view any group setting as good practice at improving my social skills.

I came out of it having gotten a boost in confidence. I did just fine talking to a whole bunch of strangers, I enjoyed it and didn't feel awkward or shy, just happy and curious to meet new people. It helped that I got some positive attention and feedback too. What I'm hoping for is not so much a relationship, but a new friend or two, and I think that there is a good chance that will happen.

After the speed dating, I stopped by work and posed for photos with Muscles and LaMexicana. Muscles then obligingly took some very nice candid photos of me. He is a talented photographer. In case you are wondering, the dog in the photo is LaMexicana's pooch, previously featured on this blog, Frida (Not Kahlo).