Folk: Edie Carey and Catie Curtis

Nostalgia, in a word. Tonight's gig at the Jammin' Java in Vienna, VA reminded me so much of all the hole in the wall coffee shops and bars I snuck out to in high school to hear Layman's Daughter, Kid Sister and Tracy Drach play at. That was a little over a decade ago, and I haven't thought about that time in a long time, but last night made me really miss those heady days when I first discovered there was a "folk scene," and the long, hot summers in North Carolina when I did nothing but run, hang out with my friends and explore music.

It was my first time seeing Edie Carey, and in her way too short set there was one song that summed up my winter: Hollywood Ending. She wrote it for a friend of hers who kept getting her/his heart broken over and over again by the same person. Sound familiar? Here's the lyrics that spoke to me:

Don't you just love a Hollywood ending
In the nick of time
she's gonna come through
You can spend your whole life pretending
It's gonna go that way for you, too

Cuz only you know her secret heart
She doesn't mean to be unkind
The waiting's not so hard
What's a little more time?

A lot of this winter and spring for me have been spent sifting through the smoke and mirrors to finally begin to see that so much of what I believed represented safety, security, and yes, even love, was just an illusion that I'd let dupe me. Coming to grips with the fact that some of the most important people in my life weren't going to suddenly, overnight magically metamorphosize into the kind, caring people I wanted them to be just because I wished for that to happen with all my being. It's hard (no that's an understatement, it's breathtakingly heartwrenching) to take off those rose colored glasses and see the harsh truth of reality, the substance abuse and lies. As Edie Carey says in closing that song, "You were my truest lie." It's painful to see that something was your truest lie, but on the other side of that pain is the freedom and happiness that come from not constantly having your heart broken and expectations dashed. I think I'm finally coming out on that other side, or at least beginning to emerge from the bleakness of a bad break-up and some other nasty let downs. Yes, I'm no longer waiting for my Hollywood ending, instead I'm living my life the way I want to. And even though I didn't have anyone write me a song to motivate me to move on with my life, I did have support, and that makes all the difference.

But, hey, if any of my friends ever want to write me a song for when I'm going through a bad time, feel free. Really. EBCBDB, or anyone else musical (sorry, you might be it, but if you can write a song to help you memorize the amino acids you can do anything). How cool is it that Edie Carey did that for her friend. Very, very cool. That kind of support is what friendship is all about.

Catie Curtis was OK. She played one song that also made me think of the last few years, called Everybody was Dancing. It had the line, "The silence in her own home begs the question, 'Why not be alone?'" Uh huh, yeah.

It was a fun night. Thanks to my advisor for getting me out. And I saw some familiar faces in the crowd. That makes the city feel way less big and impersonal and scary to me. I've been here a month, and I'm really enjoying myself. I can feel it's going to be a good weekend, and a good summer too.