Men Hitting On Me & The Male Perspective

Last night a rather humorous exchange occurred between me and a stranger at the post office. (At least it was humorous to me, though I suspect I made him laugh too).

I went to check my mail after dark. I know it is not the brightest idea to check my PO box late at night because it is so deserted, though I have often gone after a shift at 2 or 3 am. Also my box is as far away from the door as possible so I'm essentially cornered there.

I walked in and there as a very large guy built like a bodybuilder with his back to me, filling out a form. He looked over his shoulder at me, looked me up and down, and went back to filling out the form. I checked my mail, and then walked out, half-keeping an eye on him. I noticed him look over his shoulder a second time, glancing at me, almost worriedly it seemed to me.

I couldn't figure it out. When I look a guy up and down in a deserted post office late at night, I am thinking, "Can I take him if he came at me?" and "Where is the nearest exit if I needed to bolt?" But if anyone was going to hurt anyone, he was going to hurt me. There is no way I was a threat to this man.

I stood at the door, chuckling to myself about his strange behavior, then asked him, "How come you looked over your shoulder at me like that twice? You look like you are worried about my presence but there is no way I could hurt you."

He laughed and said, "I looked twice because I think you are kind of cute."

I lauged too and said thanks and left. I told the story to my friend L this morning on the car ride to school (it's so nice to carpool :) and she said, "It's like a glimpse into someone else's mind."

I don't wish I were male, but it must be nice to be big and strong and not have to worry about someone assaulting you. I would really like that. I would run at night as much as I wanted and only look over my shoulder to check people out, not to calculate whether or not someone was a possible threat.
* * *
On a different note, I've been getting hit on a lot lately (only by men, of course, no one reads me as gay it seems). Mostly it is incredibly flattering to get the attention. Sometimes it is not so welcome. I've been talking back more lately though when I don't like it. I think I owe this to my time spent with Eagle Eyes this summer. When guys looked at her, she would often turn and say, "What are you looking at?" I remember the first time I ever did this-- I was carrying a bunch of mist net poles on my shoulder in 100 degree heat at noon and a young male worker in a hard hat was gaping at me with his mouth completely open. I looked at him, and said sharply, "What are you looking at, never seen a woman do physical labor before?" His buddies in hard hats all laughed at him and he turned his eyes away and mumbled, "Uh nothing." I felt ten feet taller.

The other day, this guy at the light rail station was looking at me very lasciviously without trying to disguise it and said something really crude about me being edible and I flipped him off. The minute I did it I regretted it because escalating a situation is rarely a good idea and for a minute I thought he was going to jump me. But I put some distance between us and stood my ground. When I got on the train, luckily he didn't follow.

The only way I can explain all the new attention is that I am really happy with my life, happy to be back near my friends, loving being in school, excited about my future and that people sense that. And the confidence, which causes me to speak my mind, often with humorous results.